Congratulations to my sister, Fatin & Suami, on the birth
of their handsome new son!
Check out that jambu nose!
born right after Maghrib and everyone is doing great. He's their first baby, my
second nephew, and the fifth grandchild for my parents (they are going from three
to five in just one year!). I'm sure little Rayyan and Hariz will be great
So congratulations again to my sister and
Early September I found out that I was pregnant! A new baby was in our plan and we were definitely happy to welcome another little one into our home
But… the sad story begin on 26th September 2013
I went to the Prince
Court’s ER with spotting. The doctor
started the ultrasound, and looked and looked for the baby. I have done this enough times to know what we
should have been seeing on the screen, but we saw nothing. No gestational sac even. I was supposed to be 7.5 weeks at this point,
so the doctor told us that there were 2 possibilities:
1. The baby was already starting to undergo demise and a
miscarriage was coming, or
2. The baby was
developing in a tube (ectopic pregnancy).
If we had seen anything in my uterus on the ultrasound, we could have
ruled out an ectopic, but there was nothing to see!
Then the doctor asked
me to do a beta blood test to measure the HCG levels (pregnancy hormone). I
would get blood drawn that day and then I have to repeat the test 48 hours
later to measure the rate at which the HCG was doubling. The rule of thumb is
that they basically expect HCG levels to double every 48 hours. But I refuse to
do it.While it was sad to
know that the baby was not developing, it was also a relief to not find it in a
tube and be facing surgery!I was
released from the hospital, and started miscarrying at home the next day T_T
Having never experienced a pregnancy loss, I was amazed at
how attached I could feel to a baby we hadn’t even met! While this was not devastating (I can image
that it would be much more difficult going through the loss of a baby after a
struggle with infertility, or farther along into the pregnancy), we were all
extremely sad and disappointed. Aliyah didn’t understand what was happening exactly.
Suami and I both feel that
this miscarriage confirmed our desire to have another baby. My perfect plan
would be to squeeze in one more baby before I hit “advanced maternal age” (I’m
34 next year – not ancient, but I’m certainly not getting any younger!).
By Allah’s grace, we have been trusting Him that although we
may never know the reasons for this event in our lives, Allah allowed it for
our good and for His glory. And in that
we can rejoice! We can be thankful even
in the midst of sadness because we are confident to Allah. We may never know the “why” on this one, and