16th November

Dear Suami,

Maybe you are not the perfect ONE

but 

you always make feel 

I am the only ONE

Thank You

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT ULANGTAHUN PERKAHWINAN KITA YANG KE 5

Introducing My New Nephew

Congratulations to my sister, Fatin & Suami, on the birth of their handsome new son!

Check out that jambu nose! Hahahahahah

Hariz  was born right after Maghrib and everyone is doing great. He's their first baby, my second nephew, and the fifth grandchild for my parents (they are going from three to five in just one year!). I'm sure little Rayyan and Hariz will be great friends!


So congratulations again to my sister and brother-in-law. 

Loss

Early September I found out that I was pregnant!  A new baby was  in our plan and we were definitely happy to welcome another little one into our home

But… the sad story begin on 26^th September 2013

I went to the Prince Court’s ER with spotting.  The doctor started the ultrasound, and looked and looked for the baby.  I have done this enough times to know what we should have been seeing on the screen, but we saw nothing.  No gestational sac even.  I was supposed to be 7.5 weeks at this point, so the doctor told us that there were 2 possibilities: 

1. The baby was already starting to undergo demise and a miscarriage was coming, or

2.  The baby was developing in a tube (ectopic pregnancy).  If we had seen anything in my uterus on the ultrasound, we could have ruled out an ectopic, but there was nothing to see!

Then the doctor asked me to do a beta blood test to measure the HCG levels (pregnancy hormone). I would get blood drawn that day and then I have to repeat the test 48 hours later to measure the rate at which the HCG was doubling. The rule of thumb is that they basically expect HCG levels to double every 48 hours. But I refuse to do it.While it was sad to know that the baby was not developing, it was also a relief to not find it in a tube and be facing surgery!  I was released from the hospital, and started miscarrying at home the next day T_T

Having never experienced a pregnancy loss, I was amazed at how attached I could feel to a baby we hadn’t even met!  While this was not devastating (I can image that it would be much more difficult going through the loss of a baby after a struggle with infertility, or farther along into the pregnancy), we were all extremely sad and disappointed.  Aliyah  didn’t understand what was happening exactly. 

Suami and I both feel that this miscarriage confirmed our desire to have another baby. My perfect plan would be to squeeze in one more baby before I hit “advanced maternal age” (I’m 34 next year – not ancient, but I’m certainly not getting any younger!).  

By Allah’s grace, we have been trusting Him that although we may never know the reasons for this event in our lives, Allah allowed it for our good and for His glory.  And in that we can rejoice!  We can be thankful even in the midst of sadness because we are confident to Allah.  We may never know the “why” on this one, and that’s okay.

Welcoming new family's member

Taraaa.... introducing to you our new family's member, Adam Rayyan. Cucu lelaki pertama keluarga aku. Cucu lelaki pertama mak & abah. Ni anak adik lelaki aku yang duduk Johor tu. 1st baby, nampak keterujaan & kelam kabutnya adik aku during his wife kat labour. 1 hari 1 malam group kami kat line penuh dengan message2 dia.... Alhamdulillah lepas hampir 24 jam bertarung nyawa, akhirnya selamat semua....

Rayyan day 1... comeynya dia senyum

Ni favorite Daddy Rayyan

Cak!

Kakak Aliyah sgt teruja ada adik. Siap mintak ibu belikan adik lagi... Alahai anak... huhuhuhu

InsyaAllah, bulan October nanti sorang lagi ahli baru akan muncul. And it's a boy.... but not mine... Semoga semua berjalan lancar dan selamat. Amin

Misi Gagal

Sunyi.... Hari Bapa

26 Julai

 2 tahun yang sunyi buat aku sekeluarga. Mak apa tah lagi kan.

............

yang menenangkan jiwa hanyalah redha dan redha dan redha. Sehingga sekarang dan sampai bila-bila. Sebelah jiwa yang dah pergi tetap rasa kosong =(..time will heals everything,insya Allah..Allah akan bagi kita lepas rindu biar dalam mimpi..the most challenging part is bila tengok abah orang lain atau pakcik2 yang agak2 sebaya dgn umur arwah abah, sayu aje hati ni. Insya Allah, Allah akan kuatkan hati aku dan keluarga aku.

Al-fatihah


SELAMAT HARI BAPA TO DAD OF STEEL... suamiku muuaacks

Thirteen Years of Friendship

Dear My Huggable Husband,

It’s been 5  years together as a husband and wife, but you has been my bestest friend for past 13 years. . I repeat THIRTEEN YEARS! Thanks sayang for being there, and being you.. (walaupun ada masanya terlintas “apsal la aku jumpa mamat nih” at times when we disagree on something)..

Today when I accidentally playback a full pack of mp3 love rock songs in my office, of course i remember you. The folder  is packed with old rock love songs, those songs that were played during our friends-turn-to-more-than-friend-stage. Kalau la ada lagi archieve chat masa irc dulu, people can called me sewel dek tersengih-sengih ingatkan kisah-kisah lama.

I am so lucky to have you by my side. even though when there was a time that I  thought we should never knew each other, I knew I  was wrong about that and I  knew everything happened for a reason. I know how does it feels like when I had a big hole in my heart.

and I also know how to appreciate you in my life. Thank you sayang for being my sayang and being the Ayah  to our Aliyah.  Aliyah love to play & bully with you.  Yes, you are so right about “isteri aku yg suka pot pet pot pet”..

I really hope we could meet again in Jannah.  I don’t  want anyone else.  I just want you.

Sayang, sayang muaaacckks.

Comel la tew kununnya

Get Baby

"Nini, Aliyah nak adik tu". "Kesian Aliyah takde kawan". "Nini, bila nak nombor 2 ni". "Anak sorang je ke, Nini?" Bla Bla Bla Bla

Anak. 

Ini soalan-soalan lazim untuk aku sejak setahun yang lepas. Mana-mana aku pergi,ini soalan wajib untuk aku. Nape eh orang tak tanye dekat hubs kita. Nape kena tanye orang perempuan? Sebab perempuan yang mengandung eh? Bila nak kan anak, kena usaha.  Kena ada kerjasama. Kalau dah 3-4 tahun takde anak, suami & isteri kena lah buat pemeriksaan. Bukan isteri aje yang kena buat, aku ada kawan yang kes dia macam ni, dia beriya-iya pegi turun naik hospital buat berbagai ujian to make sure yang dia betul-betul sihat. The reproductive specialist  even said 'beautiful pattern' . Tak cukup turun naik hospital, siap cuba rawatan tradisional lagi. Tapi, sayangnya suami dia, takde buat apa-apa tindakan pun. "Hai Bang, awak confident ke awak tu betul-betul sihat?" Kalau satu pihak aje yang bersungguh, yang satu lagi pihak sambil lewa membesarkan tido je memang la tak jadik satu benda pun kan. Kesian aku tengok kawan aku tu. Bila ada reunion, dia memang try to avoid jumpa kitorang semua. 

Nasib aku baik, sebab dah ada Aliyah. Cuba bayangkan orang lain yang belum ada anak. Tak ke kesian dekat diorang. As for me, aku memang biasa buat pekak tuli. Eheee tu memang kebolehan aku. Mulut orang memang tak boleh tutup. 

Both hubs and me trying to conceive since last year. Tapi bila cerita pesal rezeki, anak, jodoh maut. Siapa lah kita nak persoalan kan tu semua kan. Sapa la tak nak ada anak kan. Aku sebenarnya kalau boleh nak ada 4 orang anak. Tapi umur pun dah macam ni, ntah mampu ntah tak nak dapat 4 tu. 

 I think it's about timing. Maybe we need to do it during the day.. hahahaha . As you know both hubs & I  we are long distance marriage... every 2 weeks per month he only back to KL...  that only leaves us  and it has to be during the ovulation. Otherwise, it will not work either. Sapa cakap, nak mengandung ni senang, ingat pakai tembak aje ke. Tricky tau. 

Aliyah, ada sorang ni pun dah syukur Alhamdulillah. Tu la intan payung, delima, platinum, gunung-ganang aku. Kalau tanya Aliyah, dia nak adik tak. Dia ok je. Boy ke girl semuanya dia ok.  Tapi, tu la belum rezeki Aliyan nak ada kawan

Suami balik hari ni and today's chances, it's safe .
Hahahahaha cuba lagi ok

Safi Rania To Let Go!

Assalammualaikum.

Alhamdulillah. Bulan March haritu banyak contest yang aku join banyak yang sangkut. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Perfume, skin product. Safi Rania Gold salah satu barang yang aku menang. Sayangnya aku tak pakai product ni. Jadik aku nak let go barang2 ni. Semua nya ada 4 barang.

1. Facial Cleanser
2. Day Cream
3. BB Cream
4. Serum

Aku tak sempat nak ambik semua gambar. Salah satu yang ada dalam hamper ni, serum. But if anyone yang nak kan gambar lagi terang you can email me at ninikhalid@gmail.com .

Ok harga untuk semua barang2 ni RM70 sahaja. Harga termasuk postage untuk Semenanjung Malaysia. Manakala Sabah/Sarawak please add RM9.

Kek Batik & Murtabak Daging

Rajin! Hahahahaha. Weekend lepas tak tau nape aku ada sikit rajin la. Jumaat lepas keje, aku ada bercerita dengan Aliyah, ajak dia buat kek. Tup tup pagi Sabtu, lepas bangun tido terus dia tuntut janji ibu. Huhuhuhu. Relax la nak, mak ko ni nak settlekan kerja2 rumah dulu. Aku punya busy mengemas rumah bagai sampai ke petang dia tuntutnya. Ok ok fine lepas maghrib aku pun sediakan bahan2. Punya la dia suka dapat buat kek. Tapi sebab masa agak suntuk sebab aku dok mengejar time nak tengok Masterchef pukul 9 so aku decide buat Kek Batik ajo. Hahahahaha kek jugak tu. Anak aku pun suka. This time aku buat tak berapa manis. Anak aku suka, anak2 buah aku suka. Family members aku pun suka dengan budak2 ofis aku suka. Siap mintak resepi lagi. Ekkekekek macam PRO sangat mak ko ni Aliyah oiii.

Oh ibu shayer, hari ni sangat rajin. 

Hihihi ini lah kek buatan tangan i. Alaaa tau la senang. Tapi lepas aku upload masuk kt FB aku semua cakap cantik. Anak aku yang susun eh atas arahan ibunya. Sambil terjerit2 bila beskut tu senget. hahahaha

Ahad

Ok, tu citer hari Sabtu, one day before PRU13. Hah ni citer hari Ahad pulak. Lepas balik ngundi tu anak aku tak makan apa2. Just sekeping Beskot and susu 4oz. You know la, anak aku tu kan super duper picky eater. Tetiba tercetus idea nak buat murtabak. Check fridge, dapur, bahan2 semua ada. Ok Aliyah, hari ni lunch kita makan murtabak eh. Buat lelaju, sebab anak aku dh berzikir cakap lapar lapar. Buat 4 keping. 4-4 keping habis. Aliyah makan sekeping setengah. Yeay! Benda yang aku paling suka dalam hidup aku, bila tengok anak aku yang picky eater nih makan. Makan dengan gumbira & suka hati

2nd day aku buat murtabak plak.

Ok puan2 kita letakkan inti yang dh dimasak tadi ke dalam kulit popiah kita.

Aku guna daging hancur aje, beli kat Ramlee

Nampak tak nampak tak, anak aku makan dgn berselera sekali. Hihihihi

Wednesday Quote

Midnight Rambling

KOSONG

Tiada usaha, tiada respon. Kosong.

XY. XX. Kosong.

Muda bukan sentiasa muda. Tua sedarlah si tua.  Kosong.

Satu tiada cukup. Namun syukur tiada kosong.

Kosong Kosong Kosong

Apabila kau hanya tahu membesarkan tidur.
TIDUR TIDUR TIDUR

Semua akan jadik kosong kosong

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Last Minute Getaway Weehoooo

Sape tak suka cuti. Sape sape sape. Aku ni kalau korang nak tau, kepingin la sangat nak bercuti menghilangkan stress keje yang kejam lagi nyampah malas nak cakap. Sejak Aliyah tak berapa sihat ni,  kitorang jarang nak keluar pergi sana sini. Anak aku tak boleh lasak ok. Kalau dah kena attack dengan En asthma. Allah saje yang tau macam mana punya risau aku ni. So, haritu ntah macam mana tertimbul, aku ajak suami aku jalan2 kat Cameron nak tak. Tido sehari ke, balik hari ke... tak kisah la. Janji jalan-jalan. So lepas kita discuss and tanya paed Aliyah. En suami aku ter membook hotel De La Ferns. Bab harga ko jangan la tanya kan. Cuti sekolah kan. Pastu last minute plak tu baru nak book.

Ok hotel ni aku suka. Bersih. Breakfast pun ok la. Anak aku makan boleh makan kira ok la kan. Kita duduk dekat situ semalam aje. Tak semua tempat kita explore. Sebab azaaab ok Azaaab. Korang kalau nak pergi Cameron tolong la avoid time cuti sekolah. Jem gile. Macam pasar malam aku tak dapat nak pergi. Jem & sangat crowded. So we decide, tak singgah pasar malam. Lagipun takde benda pun kitorang nak carik. Sayur, strawberry kitorang nak borong dekat Mardi. Aku suka la cuti yang macam ni, relax, leisure & sweet. Eheee sweet ke yang?!

Teka which floor kami duduk

Add caption

Two single bed. Teka Ibu tido katil yang mana?!

Ok, kami makan stemaboat kat kedai makan bawah hotel kami aje

Ma boo

Anak dara ibu pandai posing dah sekrang ni

Similarity

sim·i·lar·i·ty n. pl. sim·i·lar·i·ties 1. The quality or condition of being similar; resemblance. See Synonyms at likeness. 2. A corresponding aspect or feature; equivalence: a similarity of writing styles.

Ok, that's similarity in our terms, but this is similarity in my  Aliyah's. I have put this picture on my Instagram. It happen last three weeks. I read this to Aliyah " WHY ARE LIONS LAZY?" Then she asked me Aliyah " Ibu, what is lazy?" Me: " Lazy is kind of sluggish , moving slowly or not energetic." Aliyah : "Eh, no no no I think  lazy is fierce." Me : Hah, what? Why u said Lazy is fierce?" Aliyah: Ye la, Lion kind of same like Ibu(me) . You are fierce mother.( with sound Roar roar) Me: Grrrr Ohhh... anak,  kecik hati ibu ni tau. Sob sob sob I am not a fierce mother i just be firm to you dear. Tapi tu la kan, kid nowadays sangat bijak. As parents, kepala kita ni nak kena sentiasa bersedia aje menjawab soalan2 tak terduga sikecik ni. This coming July Aliyah akan genap 4 tahun. Alhamdulillah, besar dah anak ibu. Ibu sayang anak ibu, semoga diberi kesihatan yang baik dan jadik anak yang solehah pada ibu & ayah.

Starter

Long paused and I don't know where to start. So enjoy my cutie pie Aliyah's picture before I continue with my bla bla bla bla

Alahai comeynya

Comeynya comeynya

Gedix hik hik

Shenyumm

Ok yang ni sangat gedixx

Vogue tak shaye ibu

Macam nak ambik gambo pasport aje nak

Shopping

Shopping?! Siapa tak suka shopping angkat kaki! Siapa suka shopping angkat tangan! \0?

Ok meh start nyanyi lagu ni dulu before aku start bebel


The minute you walked in the joint,
I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real Big Spender,
good looking, so refined.
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?

So let me get right to the point,
I don't pop my cork for every man I see.
Hey! Big Spender,
spend a little time with me.

Wouldn't you like to have fun? Fun? Fun?
How's about a few laughs? Laughs? Laughs?
I can show you a good time,
Let me show you a good time.

The minute you walked in the joint,
I could see you were a man of distinction,
A real Big Spender,
good looking, so refined.
Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind?

So let me get right to the point,
I don't pop my cork for every man I see.
Hey! Big Spender,
Hey! Big Spender,

spend a little time with me
spend a little time with me
spend a little time with me

Ok, pompuan mana yang tak suka shopping kan. Aku suka ok. Tapi since jadik mak2 ni. Honestly aku agak kurang berlegar-legar kat shopping complex. And you know dengan condition tiny Aliyah aku rasa baik aku duduk rumah and layan korean drama. Tapi tapi aku still suka jugak nak shopping. Online shopping adalah pilihan terbaik untuk aku. Before nak beli tu selalunya aku akan survey dulu. Banyak gak online shop yang dah aku singgah and beli. Tapi aku akan listkan few seller yang aku rasakan BEST, CEKAP, MESRA ALAM(in term of mesra customer) and BOLEH DIPERCAYAI.

1. Beauty Bazaar

Owner dia nama Intan. Aku kenal dia, kat Cari. Senang beli dengan dia. Less than 24 hours dia akan jawab pertanyaan kita. So far yang aku dha beli dengan dia NYX and Annick Goutal.

   2.  Primochic

Yang ni owner dia nama Feeza. Pun senang berurusan dengan dia. Dia ada jual handbag, perfume, accessories. Currently, if i am not mistaken dia ada dekat L.A. So far aku dah beli 2 handbag dengan dia. Serivce tip top. 

 3.  Shopperstar Shopperstar

Nama owner dia Nami. Nami banyak jual Coach from factory outlet. Jam macam DKNY, AX, Marc Jacob pun ada jugak. Aku dah beli 4 handbag(handbag lagi??!!) dari dia. Dengan dia pun ok jugak. Aku suka beli dengan dia bukan pesal apa, murah, original(walau bukan dari butik) dan cepat. Cuma kadang-kadang tu dia agak lorat la. Tapi so far aku tak pernah la berdepan dengan keloratan Nami, sebab aku dah tau and paham rules and condition Nami. So, korang kalau nak beli dengan Nami, baca dulu terms and condition eh.

4.   Aida Joseph Shop USA

Ok, Aida lebih banyak active dekat facebook. You can check her facebook. Carik je AidaJosephSopUSA. If korang ada barang yang nak beli kt obersee nun tu, korang bagi je link dekat Aida. Nanti dia akan quote price untuk korang. Harga reasonable.  Aku pernah beli dekat Aida sekali je. Sling bag Nine West. 

Untuk sementara ni, 4 seller ni lah yang aku rasa convenience bila nak membeli handbags, perfume or clothes. Barang-barang yang aku order semua selamat sampai. Macam baju2 lak, dulu2 aku rajin beli dekat TPL. tapi since aku sendiri dah tau mana nak dapat2 baju yang murah. Aku dah jarang menyopping dekat situ. Ohh satu lagi lately ni aku suka gak Qoo10. Nanti aku citer kat korang ye apa barang yang dah pernah aku beli.

Malang Memang Tidak Berbau

Bahagian pintu kereta kebal aku yang kemek, lenyek, penyek. Sob sob

Kemek lagi kemek lagi

Malang Memang tak berbau. Sape yang cakap berbau tu, meh sini. Aku nak pinjam hidung korang. Perjalanan pergi balik punya la smooth. Sampai depan pagar rumah tetiba kebaboom aku boleh terlanggar pokok mangga depan rumah daaa. Sob sob sob tak memesal terbang RM550 beli pintu kete baru(second hand je). Laki aku suh letak dalam blog. Suh ingat kejadian yang berlaku 4hb April 2013 Maghrib. Huhuhu benda dah terjadi. Redha aje la. Sob sob sob